I work in a makeup store. And at my job, I do makeup application. And 95% of all the applications I do is on women. Ok…maybe closer to 98%.
But the other few are guys. Gay guys who want their eyebrows shaped. Drag queens looking for a new eyeshadow combination or lipstick. And the occasional transsexual who is looking for a new face for his new female self.
I LOVE doing makeup on guys. Maybe it’s the novelty of it…the fact that it doesn’t happen often. Or maybe because the drag queens are adventurous and fun, and all the others tend to be more timid, and you’re getting to pull someone out of their comfort zone and let them do something they’d always been scared to do before.
But apart from the fact I think it’s particularly fun, it’s no big deal to put makeup on a dude. I could care less…male or female I’m happy to find you what you want and have no intention of judging you. Still, I think there are some men, especially transsexuals, that are super sensitive about having their makeup done. They don’t want to be stared at. They’ve probably had people making fun of them for years and they are REALLY tired of it.
Anyways…once you KNOW that someone is sensitive about the issue, it changes the whole dynamic. I don’t want you to THINK I’m judging you. I don’t want you to feel awkward because I’m looking at you, or think that I’m just like the other bigoted, prejudicial people you’ve met. And that makes me feel awkward, and maybe once I feel that way, I’d come across as awkward. And maybe because of that you’ll think that I’m awkward BECAUSE I’m judging you, or because I think what you’re doing is wrong.
Ugh.
And *BOOM* just like that, a perfectly comfortable and even FUN proposition turns into one that is squirmingly uncomfortable for both parties.
I think this same logic applies to racial conversations. People have run into so many harsh, unyielding, prejudiced opinions before…have been in conversations where their opinions are discarded just because they’re different. I think people get super touchy about racial discussions because of bad experiences in the past.
So how do we overcome this? I don’t want to offend you. I really really don’t. I want to hear your opinions. I want to consider them. And maybe I’ll think they’re wrong…I’d like that actually. I would like to hear that I’m wrong and then get the chance to tell you my side. And maybe we can both learn something.
And, by the way, guys ALWAYS have nicer eyelashes!
Tags: discrimination, discussion, offense, peace, prejudice, racism, sensitivity, sexism, transsexual
September 30, 2009 at 9:47 pm |
In this day and age, it’s nice that someone actually knows the difference between a drag queen and “transsexual”, lol. There are a lot of full-time crossdressers calling themselves “transgender” though, causing a lot of confusion. Just to let you know, not everyone like that who comes in is “transsexual”, there are lots of people who live differently but don’t fit the medical definition, and they might not take kindly to being called something. Some are simply guys who have a thing for women’s clothes and have fantasies about salons and other “girly” stuff. Then again, plenty of them try to say they are “trans”, so they’d be flattered if you played along.
If you do end up having a bad experience, please keep in mind that the actual transsexual condition is a very, very rare birth defect and that most of the people you are working on don’t actually have it. In fact, I doubt very much that you’ll meet a real transsexual at all, as it is generally a very private issue that people want to keep to themselves. There may be only 30-50,000 of us in the entire US.
October 2, 2009 at 10:47 am |
Thanks for the info…I didn’t know it was that rare.
I think you’re exactly right…that not knowing the medical definition/extent of the condition could be part of what leads to people being super sensitive on this topic. It has to be trying to deal with ignorance every day!
October 2, 2009 at 10:39 pm
Well for people who were born ‘transsexual’, you generally get it treated and go on with life. We don’t look any different than anyone else. So I don’t deal with it everyday, I’m just another woman.
Some of us have started speaking out though because of the masses of guys who call themselves “TG” and try to say they have this condition. You know, the ones who suddenly discover their “feminine side” late in life and decide to crossdress in public. They claim they are the same as us, and it is causing tons of problems for people who are post-treatment. It affects our legal status and public image terribly when crossdressing men go for all these lawsuits and things. Would you want to suddenly become a non-woman because what a bunch of men did? Argh! lol
If you were born with this condition, you know it right away. It’s not something that just pops up in midlife. Those who are really dealing with the condition are very different, and you’ll know it too if you happen to meet someone like that. Basically, if someone is acting like a man, that’s who they are. No sensitivity training needed.
September 30, 2009 at 10:08 pm |
Out of 100% of the so-called trans population, i’d guess that 95% are crossdressers, drag queens, and other ‘transgender’ types. But a lot of those men will claim they are transsexual for some sort of legitimacy, when that is not the case.
Less than 5% are actually transsexual. And they would in fact actually be real women horrifically born in the wrong body, and living a life of quiet desperation trying to correct it, or have already done so.
The much more rare, there are also female-to-male transsexual men as well.
Either way, it is most definately not a ‘gay’ or ‘lesbian’ thing. Choice of partners would be a completely separate issue.